Saint Monica

Widow (332-387)

Feast- May 4

Contrary to the popular saying “Happy wife, happy life;” Holy Scripture, in the book of Wisdom of Sirach, chapter 26 states; Happy the husband of a good wife; the number of his days will be doubled.  A loyal wife brings joy to her husband, and he will finish his years in peace. (1-2) A gracious wife delights her husband; her thoughtfulness puts flesh on his bones.  A silent wife is a gift from the Lord; nothing is worth more than her self-discipline. A modest wife is a supreme blessing; no scales can weigh the worth of her chastity. The sun rising in the Lord’s heavens—the beauty of a good wife in her well-ordered home. (13-16)

St. Monica, the wife of Patricius Aurelius of Thagaste, exemplifies the superiority of the Holy Bible over the wisdom of man. Born in 332 to a Christian family in the city of Thagaste, in a region of Africa known for its rich agricultural output. Educated by a household servant, Monica cared for her father and siblings until she was given at young age in marriage to Patricius, landowner and minor Roman official.

As a holy Catholic wife, the salvation of her pagan husband and children was her main concern. St. Augustine described her cooperation with God’s grace in fulfilling this task, in Book IX, chapter 9 of The Confessions:

Brought up thus modestly and soberly, and made subject rather by Thee to her parents, than by her parents to Thee, so soon as she was of marriageable age, being bestowed upon a husband, she served him as her lord; and did her diligence to win him unto Thee, preaching Thee unto him by her conversation; by which Thou ornamented her, making her reverently amiable, and admirable unto her husband. And she so endured the wronging of her bed as never to have any quarrel with her husband thereon. For she looked for Thy mercy upon him, that believing in Thee, he might be made chaste. But besides this, he was fervid, as in his affections, so in anger: but she had learnt not to resist an angry husband, not in deed only, but not even in word. Only when he was grown calm and tranquil, and in a temper to receive it, she would give an account of her actions, if haply he had overhastily taken offence.

Her mother-in-law also, at first by whisperings of evil servants incensed against her, she so overcame by observance and persevering endurance and meekness, that she of her own accord discovered to her son the meddling tongues whereby the domestic peace betwixt her and her daughter-in-law had been disturbed, asking him to correct them. Then, when in compliance with his mother, and for the well-ordering of the family, he had with stripes corrected those discovered, at her will who had discovered them, she promised the like reward to any who, to please her, should speak ill of her daughter-in-law to her: and none now venturing, they lived together with a remarkable sweetness of mutual kindness.

While deeply concerned for the salvation of her family, St. Augustine noted that she was always ready to help her neighbors.

This great gift also thou bestowed, O my God, my mercy, upon that good handmaid of Thine, in whose womb Thou created me, that between any disagreeing and discordant parties where she was able, she showed herself such a peacemaker, that hearing on both sides most bitter things, such as swelling and indigested choler uses to break out into, when the crudities of enmities are breathed out in sour discourses to a present friend against an absent enemy, she never would disclose aught of the one unto the other, but what might tend to their reconcilement. A small good this might appear to me, did I not to my grief know numberless persons, who through some horrible and wide-spreading contagion of sin, not only disclose to persons mutually angered things said in anger, but add withal things never spoken, whereas to humane humanity, it ought to seem a light thing not to toment or increase ill will by ill words, unless one study withal by good words to quench it. Such was she, Thyself, her most inward Instructor, teaching her in the school of the heart.

While many matrons, who had milder husbands, yet bore even in their faces marks of shame, would in familiar talk blame their husbands’ lives, she would blame their tongues, giving them, as in jest, earnest advice: “That from the time they heard the marriage writings read to them, they should account them as indentures, whereby they were made servants; and so, remembering their condition, ought not to set themselves up against their lords.” And when they, knowing what a choleric husband she endured, marveled that it had never been heard, nor by any token perceived, that Patricius had beaten his wife, or that there had been any domestic difference between them, even for one day, and confidentially asking the reason, she taught them her practice above mentioned. Those wives who observed it found the good, and returned thanks; those who observed it not, found no relief, and suffered.

Finally, her own husband, towards the very end of his earthly life, did she gain unto Thee; nor had she to complain of that in him as a believer, which before he was a believer she had borne from him. She was also the servant of Thy servants; whosoever of them knew her, did in her much praise and honour and love Thee; for that through the witness of the fruits of a holy conversation they perceived Thy presence in her heart. For she had been the wife of one man, had requited her parents, had governed her house piously, was well reported of for good works, had brought up children, so often travailing in birth of them, as she saw them swerving from Thee.

Her son St. Augustine continued to pursue earthly pleasures, travelling to Italy to escape his mother’s importunities, but he could not escape incessant her prayers and tears. She begged a learned bishop to speak to her son. Instead, he consoled her with the words, “the child of those tears shall never perish.”  She followed St. Augustine to Italy, but upon her arrival discovered he had already moved on to Milan. She followed him again, crossed paths with St. Ambrose and through him witnessed Augustine’s conversion and subsequent baptism in the church of St John the Baptist at Milan.

Besides St. Augustin, St. Monica two other children. Her son Navigius became a deacon in the North African Church. Her daughter, ‘Perpetua’ of Hippo became the head of a monastery near St. Augustine’s own church.

In the year 387 at Ostia, shortly before they were to re-embark for Africa, St. Augustine and his mother sat at a window conversing on the life of the blessed. She turned to him and said, “My son, there is nothing now I care for in this life. What I shall now do, or why I remain on this earth, I know not. The one reason I had for wishing to linger in this life a little longer was that I might see you a Catholic Christian before I died. This grace God has granted me superabundantly, seeing you reject earthly happiness to become His servant.”A few days later she succumbed to a fever and died at the age of fifty-six.

References and Excerpts:

[1]          F. Media, “Saint Monica,” Franciscan Media, Aug. 27, 2020. https://www.franciscanmedia.org/saint-of-the-day/saint-monica/ (accessed Apr. 29, 2023).

[2]          “Saint Monica, Widow.” https://sanctoral.com/en/saints/saint_monica.html (accessed Apr. 29, 2023).

[3]          “St. Monica: the Patron Saint of patience and perseverance,” Savelli Religious. https://savellireligious.com/blogs/blog/st-monica-the-patron-saint-of-perseverance (accessed Apr. 29, 2023).

[4]          “Saint Monica,” Wikipedia. Apr. 29, 2023. Accessed: Apr. 29, 2023. [Online]. Available: https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Saint_Monica&oldid=1152263979

[5]          “CHURCH FATHERS: Confessions, Book IX (St. Augustine).” https://www.newadvent.org/fathers/110109.htm (accessed Apr. 29, 2023).